I Am a “Pushy” Parent

I Am a “Pushy” Parent

The idea to write this article came to me as I was watching a YouTube video of a 9-year-old tennis “prodigy” girl
This particular video was the last drop in the bucket for me regarding a debate that is kind of taboo for a lot of parents and coaches.
If you are a tennis parent or coach you might want to stick with me and read this article all the way.

For those who don’t know me, I am a tennis coach and I have been teaching tennis since… I was a kid. I have always loved teaching and sharing my knowledge with anyone willing to learn and improve.
But this is not about me. This is about a debate that seems to be a sensitive subject for many. It is about whether parents should PUSH their kids to pursue a certain sport…

It’s a great scenario when your child loves a sport, let’s say tennis, and they are motivated to improve and cannot wait to get on the tennis court.
But there is also a scenario in which you, a parent, love a certain sport, let’s say tennis :), and you see your child has no drive, no desire to practice the sport, even though they have talent and you know that by practicing the sport they will benefit tremendously later on in life.

During my tennis teaching career, I have met and taught countless adults who confessed that they wish their parents would have “pushed” them to stick with tennis when they were kids. They are aware that when they were young they had other hobbies that were more comfortable for them like hanging out with friends, watching TV, playing video games, etc. Those distractions did not account for a more enjoyable life later on.

Now, as a parent myself, I am put in a situation where I have to guide my two daughters (7 and 5 years old) on whether they should pick up tennis or not.
As a tennis coach, I would hate to have any of my daughters 20 years from now ask me why I did not teach them the sport I am so knowledgeable about.
I would hate to know that I have the necessary skills to give my children the gift of a healthy habit (playing tennis) and not do it.

My problem is the following (and I am sure a lot of parents and coaches have this dilemma): my kids are not “crazy” about playing tennis!
My kids would rather just hang around with their friends all day, watch TV, and/or indulge in short-term fun activities like playing online video games… As a parent, I am aware that a few years from now they will find these activities do not provide a healthy lifestyle for them.

So the BIG question is should I, as a parent and a coach, step up and “push” my kids into playing the sport I am very proficient in?

Before I give you MY answer I would like to give YOU some arguments:

– I’ve seen and heard the opinion of many parents stating that kids should be given options and let them choose.
I think it is a very wise decision. But what if… while you give your child the many options, you and your child, actually focus on at least one sport that you are sure your kid will benefit from in the future? Something like running, swimming, basketball, tennis, surfing, ice skating… These are sports that they can practice for the rest of their life. These are sports that will allow them to stay in shape even after the age of 30, 40 or older. What if we “push” our kids to learn a sport they can practice for the rest of their lives?
As much as I think playing American football, soccer, or baseball is great and teaches them discipline, hard work, and team play, these sports are kind of “dead” for them (as far as the possibility of continuing practicing them) after the age of 25…
On the other side, if we just let kids experiment with all the sports hoping that one day they will stick with one, they might end up knowing a little bit of every sport but not be good at any one…

– Think about how you were at the age of 7, 8, or 9… Were you aware of what would be good for you in ten, twenty, thirty years later? No, of course not. Therefore we, as parents, must present the future to our kids and describe the importance of doing sports and activities that could have an impact on them later on.
Even though Johnny loves to play online games, that will not help him be more sociable, driven, and outgoing in the future.

Having said that here are my opinions in regard to providing our children with skills that would help them become successful later on in life:

  • Every kid should be given the opportunity to learn at least one foreign language.
  • Kids should also learn how to dance (how many times have you gone to parties or social gatherings and envied the ones who were able to move gracefully to the music?).
  • Every kid should, at some point, know how to defend themselves – get them into some self-defense classes.
  • Children should be given the opportunity to learn how to play at least one musical instrument (piano, violin, guitar, etc.).
  • Every kid should practice and be good at one sport. Why? Because in order to be good it takes dedication and perseverance. It is easy to begin a sport or anything else and… quit. But if we, as parents, encourage the kids to stick to a sport, they will learn that whatever they do and work hard at will become a habit and great things happen when we persevere.

With this said, I think that I should “push” my kids to learn tennis and have them learn from my knowledge to become as good tennis players as they can be. I am sure that whether they decide to stick with tennis or not, the skills they will learn from practicing and persevering in tennis will help them in life later on.
And I am sure of one thing: my kids will not tell me “Hey Dad, how come you did not teach us tennis?”
As I do this, I want to make sure that my kids learn a foreign language, play the piano (or guitar), take self-defense classes, and take dance lessons too.
Everything else… is up to them.

I would love your opinion on this. Please share this article and contribute with your feedback… Thank you.

Spend quality time with your child while teaching them a valuable sport. Enroll today in My Daddy / My Coach program!

Cosmin Miholca

Cosmin Miholca

Certified Tennis Coach

Check out my work at WebTennis24 where I share with you my best video tennis lessons, drills and tips for players, coaches and tennis parents.

Tennis Tips: Focus On the Finish

Tennis Tips: Focus On the Finish

The tennis stroke techniques can be divided into three major elements: preparation, contact with the ball, and finish (follow-through).

The last part (the finish) can give you a lot of clues about somebody’s stroke: the spin imparted on the ball, acceleration (power), the tension in the arm, the direction of the ball, etc.
Coaches tell you to finish in a certain way for deeper ball penetration, cleaner contact, or relaxation of the arm through the stroke. But what is the stroke finish all about?

In my teaching lessons, I have noticed that many consistency-related issues can be solved just by fixing the finish on the stroke.
You see, so often coaches or players look at contact or body movement to solve tennis problems, but according to my observations, tennis can be a lot easier if we fix one very simple area of our strokes: the way we finish.

Here are my arguments for this statement:

1. Since contact with the ball is done in such a short period of time, our mind is not capable of controlling the body and racquet during that time (it is our ingrained muscle memory or subconscious mind that takes over the contact). What we can control is the way we finish the stroke: “holding the finish”.

There is a strong connection between the contact and follow-through – if contact is done right, the proper finish follows or vice versa: if we focus on a long, relaxed follow-through (the part we can control) then we’ll have a clean, smooth contact before it happens.

2. A long follow-through shows a relaxed arm done at contact with the ball. A relaxed arm during the swing translates into power and control of the ball.

We all know that we play our best tennis when we are relaxed.
So focusing on a long follow-through on the strokes will help us loosen up through the stroke.

3. When we play a match and feel tense or have “one of those days” when nothing good comes out of our strokes, there is a very easy fix to those: exhale at contact and finish your strokes.

When we are mentally tense (e.g. fear of losing the match, somebody important to us is watching the match, egos, etc.) our body muscles contract too; that makes our stroke swing shorter which, as a result, slows down the racquet head speed and affects the ball depth.

I have noticed remarkable progress in my students’ strokes only when I adjusted their follow-through:
– a kick serve cannot be done without taking into consideration the racquet path on the same side of the body with the dominant arm after contact, or…
– the slice serve to have the hitting face more or less facing the opposite court after the contact adds to the spin effect even after the impact has been made;
– a forehand ground-stroke finish with the hand knuckles close to the non-dominant side’s ear can make the contact a lot smoother and cleaner when teaching young or beginning players.

Take these tips with you next time you go on the tennis court to practice or use them to relax in a tennis match.

Cosmin Miholca

Cosmin Miholca

Certified Tennis Coach

Check out my work at WebTennis24 where I share with you my best video tennis lessons, drills and tips for players, coaches and tennis parents.

“Silly Balls” Tennis Drill

“Silly Balls” Tennis Drill

Here is an exercise idea that I call Silly Balls, which is great for developing ball tracking, quick reaction, and feel…

As a coach, I sometimes carry with me a basket containing mixed types of balls: some bouncy (new or old), some “dead” (that lost their inside air), some “spongy” (the oversized sponge ones for little kids), etc. This basket I take out on the court when I want to work with my students on the quick reaction, footwork, and feel.

I feed those mixed balls to my students and challenge them to hit all the balls over the net. The benefit of this drill is making the player get out of their comfort zone by not having to deal with the same bounce and speed of the ball all the time. They also develop a quick first-step reaction by having to adjust quickly to the bounce and depth of the different types of balls.

If you are a coach or parent of a tennis player, try doing this drill at times, but make sure they warm up very well beforehand.

Foster a love for tennis in young players with our engaging and enjoyable drills. Join Best Tennis Drills and Games for Kids and create a positive and lasting experience!

Cosmin Miholca

Cosmin Miholca

Certified Tennis Coach

Check out my work at WebTennis24 where I share with you my best video tennis lessons, drills and tips for players, coaches and tennis parents.

The 10 Commandments For Tennis Coaches

The 10 Commandments For Tennis Coaches

1. You shall not wear sunglasses when talking with your students, or greeting your clients.

2. You shall always have a positive attitude.


3. You shall always remember your students’ names and greet them as soon as they enter your tennis court.


4. You shall not pick up, talk, or text on your phone during tennis lessons.


5. You shall never be late to your tennis lesson otherwise it is free for your client.


6. You shall not speak poorly of your fellow tennis coaches (or any clubs or tennis organization affiliations) regardless of their teaching methods.


7. You shall show respect to your clients and make them feel welcome even after they have stopped coming to you for lessons.


8. Once in a while you shall give free lessons to those who cannot afford them, and spend extra time with your clients who need more help.


9. You shall always look clean and smell nice.

10. You shall always look for ways to improve your tennis knowledge and share it with your students and younger fellow coaches who seek guidance.

Want to learn the secrets of effective tennis coaching? Enroll into 10 Lesson Plans / How to Teach Tennis and discover how to inspire and teach your students!

Cosmin Miholca

Cosmin Miholca

Certified Tennis Coach

Check out my work at WebTennis24 where I share with you my best video tennis lessons, drills and tips for players, coaches and tennis parents.

Can Your Child Work Through Their Frustrations Without You?

Can Your Child Work Through Their Frustrations Without You?

As a parent, have you ever wondered why some coaches don’t allow parents to assist in the tennis lessons their children take?

Parents can be protective of their kids… If the child gets injured or falls or something doesn’t go their way, the kid looks for comfort and understanding in the arms of their parents.

We, the parents, want to help our children… However, as a tennis coach (and parent), I have witnessed many young players misbehaving on the tennis court. Oftentimes, it is just a simple error that triggers the frustration or meltdown.

Consistently, the children tend to be more “dramatic” when parents are present; the parents’ good intentions ultimately create future setbacks.

Sometimes it is easy to forget that the mistake (or problem) can actually teach our children a whole lot more in the long run. If they miss a shot or lose a point, they tend to seek comfort and understanding from their parents by looking at them. Or, on occasion, pretend that they are sick or perhaps injured…
When parents are not present, kids learn to understand that when problems occur, the only way to deal with them is by handling these problems by themselves!

So what is my point?

Parents, whether in a tennis practice or a match, allow your children to make mistakes and errors… Let them fall and learn how to get back up by themselves! Let them get frustrated and learn that being “down” is their chance to find solutions and overcome problems.

Allow your kids to succeed on their own.

Spend quality time with your child while teaching them a valuable sport. Enroll today in My Daddy / My Coach program!

Cosmin Miholca

Cosmin Miholca

Certified Tennis Coach

Check out my work at WebTennis24 where I share with you my best video tennis lessons, drills and tips for players, coaches and tennis parents.