One of my students recently told me: “Cosmin, I have a big fear of losing – especially when it comes to lower-level players because they are the last ones I want to lose to!”
Before I became a coach, I was a player myself. And I hated to lose too… because of that, I did not enjoy competing in tennis; even when I was winning!
It took me a few years to understand what was happening:
The reason we do not enjoy the competition is that we all hate to LOSE!
Thinking about losing is a negative thought. When we go into a match focusing on the negative, we attract negative things to us!
As a coach, I have played many practice matches with my advanced students – and I enjoyed every minute of that. My mentality was that if they were to beat me I would be happy for them (after all, they are my students!); if I were to win, that would be a learning experience for them. Either way, I was playing in a relaxed mode, and as a result, I really enjoyed my tennis!
The moral of this article is that every player should go into a match thinking that either outcome is a great learning experience: win or lose, we learn; we progress; and we discover new areas to better ourselves…