Can your child work through their frustrations without you?

As a parent, have you ever wondered why some of the coaches don’t allow parents to assist in the tennis lessons their children take?

We live in a society where the parents are sometimes overprotecting their kids… If the child gets injured, or falls, or something doesn’t go their way, they look for comfort and understanding in the arms of their parents.

We, the parents, want to help our children… However, as a tennis coach (and parent), I have witnessed too many young players misbehaving on the tennis court. Often, it is just a simple error that triggers the frustration or meltdown.
(How to Teach Tennis to Your Own Child – video lessons)

Consistently, the children tend to be more “dramatic” when parents are present; the parents’ good intentions ultimately create future setbacks.

Sometimes it is easy to forget that the mistake (or problem) can actually teach our children a whole lot more in the long run. If they miss a shot or lose a point, they try to seek comfort and understanding from their parents by looking towards them. Or on occasion, pretending that they are sick or perhaps injured…
When their parents are not present, they learn to understand that when problems occur, the only way to deal with them is by handling these problems by themselves…!

So what is my point?

Parents: whether in a tennis practice or a match, allow your children to make mistakes and errors… Let them fall and learn how to get back up by themselves! Let them get frustrated and learn that being “down” is their chance to find solutions and overcome problems.
Let your kids succeed on their own!


Cosmin Miholca

If you can’t deal with frustration, you cannot play tennis

When we are beginning players we are very happy to learn to stroke the ball and even happier to be able to rally with the coach or a friend.
When things get better and we realize that we can play higher level tennis, we expect a lot more from ourselves than just simply hitting the ball back and forth over the net. And the more we expect, the more frustrated we become…

Why the frustration?

Because in tennis, you cannot play your best ALL the time!
Our expectations grow faster than our physical capabilities. We want results today, and we want them right now…
Well, this is not always possible; therefore patience is one of the biggest qualities that tennis teaches us!
(Quick Tennis Fixes)

One of my favourite pieces of advice I give my students is that instead of dwelling on the fact that they missed a shot, they should become problem solvers and find ways to prevent that mistake from happening again.

You cannot play tennis without making errors! You have to accept that.
The better the player, the better their understanding of creating solutions and overcoming obstacles! Then…success will follow.


Cosmin Miholca