A Fatherly Advice

tennis parentI’d like to address one of the things that has happened to me (I’d say, often) and I am sure you could related to this also…

You watch a tennis match between two players and you think they are playing great: long rallies, nice variety of shots etc. And you get the feeling that those guys are so much better than you. Then one day you meet one of them in a tournament match… And you beat him! And then you wonder: “What has just happened? I was certain that this guy was much better than me based on how he looked playing against somebody else.”
(Mental Tennis Tips)

One thing is for sure: only because somebody plays very well against a certain opponent does not mean he will play well against you too!
We are all different and our style of play can either help or impede our opponents.

We often tend to under-estimate our own potential and therefore we think others are better players when, in fact, they are not.

My father, once told me before a match I was nervous about… “Don’t worry about how good he is, let him worry about how good YOU are!” 

Now, that is one attitude you should step on the court with.

Cosmin Miholca

Can your child work through their frustrations without you?

As a parent, have you ever wondered why some of the coaches don’t allow parents to assist in the tennis lessons their children take?

We live in a society where the parents are sometimes overprotecting their kids… If the child gets injured, or falls, or something doesn’t go their way, they look for comfort and understanding in the arms of their parents.

We, the parents, want to help our children… However, as a tennis coach (and parent), I have witnessed too many young players misbehaving on the tennis court. Often, it is just a simple error that triggers the frustration or meltdown.
(How to Teach Tennis to Your Own Child – video lessons)

Consistently, the children tend to be more “dramatic” when parents are present; the parents’ good intentions ultimately create future setbacks.

Sometimes it is easy to forget that the mistake (or problem) can actually teach our children a whole lot more in the long run. If they miss a shot or lose a point, they try to seek comfort and understanding from their parents by looking towards them. Or on occasion, pretending that they are sick or perhaps injured…
When their parents are not present, they learn to understand that when problems occur, the only way to deal with them is by handling these problems by themselves…!

So what is my point?

Parents: whether in a tennis practice or a match, allow your children to make mistakes and errors… Let them fall and learn how to get back up by themselves! Let them get frustrated and learn that being “down” is their chance to find solutions and overcome problems.
Let your kids succeed on their own!


Cosmin Miholca